I need your help because I have been having a terrible time writing the end of this poem.  Whenever I try to add more, the description seems trite.  But I am also not sure if the ending (as it is now) is sufficient.  So I want your opinions as fresh readers of this poem.  Does this ending feel “unfinished” yet add an appropriate sense of anticipation for whatever the reader might imagine comes next?  Or does it feel “unfinished” because it really does need more?  Or something else?  I welcome your thoughts.  Alas, as usual, wordpress does not allow me to format words of the poem to my liking, so this rendering with dashes substituted for spaces will have to do.  I am trying to win a poetry scholarship, so please do be as critical as you think you need to be — I’ve torn it apart and put it back together so many times, it can stand more tearing and rebuilding.

A Prayer

Gabriel and Michael exchanged

worried looks.

The cherubim blushed and

Bent ruffled plumage

Across their hundred busy eyes,

As the Son’s cry echoed, shrill

And ungainly, across the heavens.

They braced themselves for the mighty

Reply but heard


At last a reticent Gabriel flew

To the oaken door of the lapis room

Where the Father sat slumped

On a three-legged stool,

Gripping the world in this right hand

And a bottle of Laphroaig in his left.

A long, wilted sigh came from the

Linen curtains which rippled

Behind the silver throne as the Spirit


The Father did not even

Look up.  “I heard,” was all.

Gabriel left as quietly

As he had come.

But as Gabriel shut the door,

The seraphim began to snort and

paw the clouds, furiously pumping their


like hummingbirds that do not burn.